Happy Mothers' Day

Pictures from Mothers' Day.

As a disclaimer, this is going to be a long post...I always think it's silly when people put a disclaimer like this, as it seems quite evident just by looking at the post that it is lengthy...but as I rarely post long entries, I encourage you to endure and read the entire entry...or don't, either way, I have some thoughts to share.

My mom used to read me a story that seems to have gained quite a bit of notoriety called Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, Joey even recited it to Rachel on Friends at her baby shower.

It follows the growth of a young mother and her son...the chorus of the book is a song that she sings to him while he sleeps, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Even as a child, I could feel the distinct pang in my heart as the story unfolded and the young mother matures and eventually passes away.

"I'll love you forever..." that without a doubt is the first feeling of motherhood...a mothers' love is eternal.

"I'll like you for always..." this sentiment takes a little growing to fully appreciate. It's a nod to the fact that children, like parents, are human and unfortunately will disappoint...but no matter what, a mother will still always choose to see the best in their children and like them despite the sometimes hurtful and disappointing things they do.

"As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be..." the last part of her lullaby takes more maturity than I've acquired, but I was able to catch a glimpse of this meaning as my grandmother passed away this last Christmas. She was my Grand-mother and I mean that in the way that it sounds, she was grand: wonderful, impressive, magnificent, rich in depth, noble, admirable...and she was a mother to my own mother and to myself.

On a particularly trying night, as my mother and I were consoling one another over this loss, she spoke of the loss of part of her identity. She told me that a person doesn't know what it means to feel truly scared until you've lost both your parents. It was odd to me to hear those words from my mother whom I'd always seen as so strong, responsible, capable & independent. Losing my Wi-Pua hurt...it still hurts. It stings when I think that Max will never get to be held by her loving arms, hear her wonderful stories, watch her eat an entire Costco hot dog or hear her root for the next contestant on the Price is Right. I lost one of my biggest fans whom I knew would always cheer for me & never asked for anything in return...worst of all, I lost the opportunity to show her, one last time, how much she meant to me, to let her know, one more time, how much I loved her & to prove her right by being the best version of myself that I could possibly be...

Families are forever, to the core of who I am, I believe this to be true. I also believe that much of this life is a test...and so often we miss the point of it all...we get caught up in wanting to help the elderly lady in the ward but forget our own elderly family members, we teach of forgiveness and charity in church but forget to give those things to our most loved ones...we forget that we only get the privilege of being their babies...as long as they're living.

I am so honored to have had my Wi-Pua as a grandmother, my mom as mother who is just perfect for me, a mother-in-law who humbles me with the love she has for all of her children and a son who has brought me more humility, endless nights of worry and joy than I ever thought possible. To all the wonderful mothers out there who've ever doubted for a moment how amazing they are or are ever unsure of their children's affections, know that your children adore you and try to emulate you as a person and as a parent each and every day, even if they're too obtuse to let you know. Happy Mothers' Day.